Destiny


Miguel was no longer a young man, nor a gentleman, just a middle-aged man, as they used to say, a man who had his life trying to keep his head in the present, to live only now. University professor, graduated and specialized in literature, historian by curiosity in the vacant hours, bohemian on Fridays, writer on Saturdays and a lonely sufferer on Sundays.
Despite having a partially agitated life, Miguel often found himself caught up in his thoughts at that very moment that made him who he was; that moment where everything changed, where his path separated from his, and his life took paths once unimaginable. He clung to the present so he would not have to relive the last moment in his memory again, but as a curse, every time he allowed himself to think of anything, that horrible memory came and dragged him back into the depths of those dark waters.
The people who lived with Miguel used to say with certain frequency that he was a mysterious man who had a fake smile on his lips and many sadness in those blue eyes that contrasted drastically with the night that was his hair; nobody knew exactly who the man was, where he had come from, or his story, after all, everyone had a story, and for him, everything would go on like that, there was nothing to be told.
Late in the rainy afternoons, the man liked to drink coffee and read futile books; on a late autumn afternoon as he sipped his coffee of citrus, sitting in an armchair of the establishment, realized that someone had sat next to him, Miguel made a quick eye contact with the young woman and forged a brief smile that was reciprocated in the At once he read the book again in his hands, but soon felt the weight of the girl's gaze on him.
"I'm sorry to stare, but I have the impression that I've seen you, that I know you from somewhere. "Said the young woman, withdrawn.
 "I do not know, maybe you've already seen me, I'm a teacher, every year many people find me out there or even know me. "
The girl heard the words of the jovial man sitting next to her, but his image did not send her back to the academic environment, for to her he looked more like a ghost from his past or a distant memory; the shape of his face was familiar and familiar, even though he had no idea of ​​when or where.
"I do not think so ... I do not really know! You look ... Familiar! "
"Strange you to tell me this, for your eyes remind me of someone I met a long time ago. "At the end of the sentence, Miguel stared at the girl for a while; perhaps his memory was deceiving him, but something about the girl was actually known.
"Gee, I love it when it rains this time of year, it's hard, but when it does, it seems magical to me. I always come here, I like to look at the wet avenue as the cars pass by. My uncle brought me here the first time, I was very small ... The day was exactly like this. I never forget that! By the way, I'm Amanda, pleasure! And you are? "Amanda asked in a childish tone.
"Miguel, I'm Miguel! "The man replied, a little incredulous, at the way the girl had begun to talk wildly.
Not long afterwards they were talking about everything, it was a strange situation at first for Miguel, but with the passing of words and hours the situation as a whole became pleasant. Miguel noticed the girl's way of speaking, there was something different there, she was twenty-two, but she spoke like a thirty-something person, she had an almost childish way of doing things; he found all that very interesting and when he realized it, he was talking about the universe, about books, about people, situations, daydreams, wishes, living and even family; hours passed just like the coffee and cappuccinos they took. They do not appreciate two strangers, but known for a long time.
"Thank you for talking to me, I swear I'm not crazy or anything, but today was a difficult day for me, and when I saw you, for some reason I thought I knew you, I brought up a subject and maybe it was the dumbest decision I I took it today because things do not look so bad right now. "Amanda said with tears in her eyes.
"Thank you, I'm not a chatty guy, but I enjoyed talking to you too!" Amanda heard the man's words sitting in front of her, and began to notice her eyes ... There was sadness there, she thought, what reminded her the reason for having had a hard day, the reason for being there, and without noticing shed a few tears, Miguel realized and then asked if he had said something wrong.
"I do not know what happened, I just ... I remembered and I hate to remember, that's the truth! I was sixteen and my parents were going to pick me up at a party, because that day I decided to take my first prank to impress my friends - those who barely remember the name today - they arrived there and I was sitting at the door of the house crying because I knew they were disappointed with me! When I got in the car my father made a joke about how he would not scold me because he knew that the next day my body would. Anyway, we were almost home when a drunk driver invaded the lane we were and hit our car, everyone died at the time of the collision, I mean, everyone but me ... And you know the irony of it all? It all happened because of the damn alcohol! It all happened because of my teenage vanity! And worst of all, you know what? I try not to think about it, I try not to remember it, I try to focus on the now, but I almost never can and knows what I do to forget? I drink! It is absurd, I know that a normal person would never drink again in the face of such a trauma, but no, I continue, I sink myself into it! I look in the mirror and I want to kill my reflection, I have anger, disgust and pity of myself! "The girl stopped talking for a few seconds, but before Miguel had any kind of reaction, Amanda said again" It's all so unfair! And many years before that happened, I also lost my uncle, which I said brought me here for the first time ... At the time he was dating a boy, I do not remember the name. He went home and said that he would take me to take the best hot chocolate from the galaxies, yes, he used those words. We arrived here and dude, in fact it was the best hot chocolate I have ever had, but anyway, I remember he came to tell me that he would spend some time traveling with a person who had known "I will travel with the love of my life, and nothing Grandma will not know why he, like me, is a boy and she does not like it, and I do not want to upset her "he said he would feel my I miss most of all and that I was the favorite person in his life. That was the last time I saw him. A week later I learned that he was in another city and that there was a river in that city, and something went wrong, he had died. "At that moment more tears spilled into Amanda's eyes, and to her surprise, in Miguel's eyes "And after that, I blamed myself for not telling anyone ... I wanted to have told, I wanted to not drink, I wanted to not hate myself so much, I wanted to go back in the past and give another hug and say that I will love you, "I got the impression that it was there and everything had already happened, it was happening and would continue to happen for the rest of eternity." At that moment, Miguel got up with a little difficulty and picked up his wallet and looked for something in the same, it did not take long to deliver a folded piece of paper and handed it to the girl, who opened it, put his hand to his mouth and opened his eyes, was a photo.
"His last name is probably Montenegro and his uncle's name was Luis. We had gone to have a wine and then we thought it would be a good idea to swim, we went into the river, the water was great, the starry sky, everything beautiful and perfect. When we realized the current was stronger, we tried to get out of the water, but it was very difficult, we cried for help in vain, because it was a place almost deserted, no one appeared and we no longer had the strength for anything, in the end, we let ourselves go and it was over that I caught my left leg on a rock, and I could not hold it ... He drowned, taken by the current and I lost a leg and my reason to live, I lost the love of my life. "
Miguel lifted the hem of his trousers and showed his mechanical leg. The two of them were silent, after the moment of strangeness and questions and everything, they talked again. It was already night, the coffee was already closing when Miguel spoke, looking into Amanda's eyes.
"I know life has not been easy or even fair with you, girl. I've been right where you are today. Once I wrote something and when I know that things will lose control in my life, I read this text, because for a long time I lost the notion of time, being and being, it was all the same. I try not to remember, but sometimes I have to face everything and get better. I'll send you the text and you'll understand, I hope it helps. "
Amanda thanked him for everything, for the conversation, for the discovery, for the coincidence, for the coffee and for life, he said he would wait for the text and embraced Miguel in the same way that he returned.
Arriving home, Miguel hurried to find that paper that had saved him so many times, when he finally had it in hand, took a picture and sent it to Amanda; before going to sleep, he re-read the words that had saved him so many times before.

"The verses I read are of a ghost that sometimes haunts me, simple verses, sad, almost morbid but necessary; verses that bring me memories of a stranger I met, a strange me who turned me into the extraordinary being that I am.
Verses that are shadows of a past that once I could not avoid, verses of the paradox of time where the past becomes present and the present becomes future, existing and coexisting simultaneously, becoming the inevitable now.
The incredible now that turns into constellations within my soul. "